


Watashi no Chō

by LovetheOmni



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-27
Updated: 2010-07-27
Packaged: 2017-12-03 18:14:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/701190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovetheOmni/pseuds/LovetheOmni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time I see Luka my heart feels like the beating wings of a butterfly have taken its place. But I'm Master's favorite. I'm Hatsune Miku: I have all the high rankings. I can't be in love with a girl. Luka/Miku Magnet yuri, references other songs, R&R</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watashi no Chō

**Author's Note:**

> FINALLY I've posted my first yuri~ Please review. ^^ And be gentle with me. I usually write yaoi but I'm a girl who knows a bit more about how yuri works in real life if you know what I mean. ;D If you squint you may notice that I followed the song as best I could. I worked really hard on this. ;w;
> 
> In case anyone notices, yes, I did pay tribute to a bunch of other Vocaloid songs throughout this fic. If you feel up to it you can try to see how many you can find. I'll post the list of all the songs I referenced at the bottom of the fic.

Rushed kisses. Soft lips brushed mine hurriedly, desperately. There was no warning, no mental preparation. Only feeling.

I pressed closer, franticly taking in as much of this feeling as I could before it ended. I never wanted it to end.

But then Luka pulled herself away from me and reality crashed itself back down. I trembled at the cruelness of it: the realization that she wasn't mine.

She noticed my trembling. Her eyes filled with horror at what she'd done to me. I knew that she'd never do anything to hurt me. And she didn't... willingly. It was untamable carnal instinct that drove her to it. But her kisses didn't really hurt me. Not like I thought they would.

I couldn't say anything. I stood there blank and silent, unmoving.

She nodded, as if she thought she knew what I was thinking, and headed towards the door, eyes down to the ground. She tried to hide her face from me but I saw it anyway. She was on the verge of tears.

I grabbed her arm quickly before she could leave and pulled her over to me, staring at her with confused and questioning eyes, desperately trying to wordlessly understand both of our actions through them.

Memories of all the fun times we've had together rushed through my head. All the good and even the bad. It was so fun to sing alongside her, to just be near her.

Those little memories held so much meaning to me.

And then just one thought ran through my head: I didn't want her to go.

Our lips crashed together once again, this time both of us fully aware of what we were doing:

Sinning.

The feeling of her lips on mine didn't feel like a sin. I didn't feel dirty or disgusted. Instead I felt a surge of happiness. My heart broke out of its cocoon and turned into a beautiful butterfly.

_~hajimeru no yo ~ kore wa sensou~ (1)_

Ever since that day it seemed like whenever I was in her presence I could never relieve myself of the unrelenting wings flapping themselves beneath my breasts. I felt like I was constantly in a state of blissful insanity. I had to be insane to be having feelings like these.

Even as she stood there across the room, I felt I could not tear my eyes away from her. Her long wavy pink hair and serene smile attracted me somehow. She sent back shy glances in my direction and I couldn't help but lose my breath with each one.

I hadn't really spoken to her since that day we kissed. I avoided her at every move, not wanting to talk about it and fully acknowledge that these thoughts were running through my head.

I couldn't stop my mind from reminding myself that it's wrong to feel like this. Sick. Perverted. But no matter how many times I reminded myself such things my heart never believed it.

That scared me.

Master stood in front of me impatiently tapping his toe, arms crossed. "Miku," he said. "Did you listen to a word I just said?" I shook my head, embarrassed. He sighed but smiled. "Alright, I'll explain your next song to you once _again_. Like I said: you're going to sing a love song with Kaito. It'll be romantic and tragic because Luka is going to sing the part of your rival in love. You end up killing her and you and Kaito live happily ever after. Sound good?"

No. It didn't at all. I didn't want to sing another love song with Kaito. I didn't want to kill Luka.

I nodded. "Sounds great, Master," I said as he handed me the sheet music. "Yet another wonderful song idea."

Master smiled in approval at this praise. "I'm glad you approve. Now why don't you go over there and practice with Luka while I go and talk to Kaito about this."

I nodded again. "Okay..." I said softly as he walked out of the room to find the blue Vocaloid. I trudged over to Luka shyly, sheet music in hand.

"Miku..." she breathed."How... how are you?"

I shrugged. "Doing alright..." I said awkwardly. What was I supposed to say to her? I mean... after that night what _could_ I say?

"Listen, Miku, about what happened..."

"It's nothing," I interrupted. "It didn't happen." Luka's jaw clenched. She gulped, eyes threatening to brim with tears. I immediately felt sorry for saying it. I wanted to hug her and tell her I didn't mean it.

I wish I could but such a thing could never happen. Master would never allow it.

"Oh..." Luka murmured. "So... you don't feel the same way?" I bit my lip, trying to keep myself from telling the truth. I couldn't say anything. I just stood there. Luka's eyes searched mine. I didn't dare look at her. "Miku... tell me you don't feel the same way, tell me I'm crazy and… I'll never bring it up again. Or," her voice momentarily filled with a hint of hope, "tell me you don't think that what we did was a mistake… that you feel the same way… please…"

Tears ran down my cheeks and I began to shake. "W-we should really get to practicing this song... I-I... Master will be..." Luka took a step towards me.

"Miku... it's okay." She wrapped me in a tight embrace. I hugged her back, desperately clinging to her warmth.

"No... it's not. Why don't I feel wrong when I'm with you? Why do I want to...?" I trailed off, realizing what I'd said aloud.

Her eyes widened as she too realized what I'd said. What it meant.

I wanted to.

"Kiss me again," she whispered needingly. She tightly gripped my hand and our lips once again met, the butterfly in my heart thrashing wildly as if it was trying to free itself from a life-threatening danger.

I felt a delicious loss of breath as she boldly slipped her tongue inside my awaiting mouth. I tentatively did the same. I'd never done anything like this with anyone before, especially with another girl.

I broke away. "Luka, we can't do that… not… not here." She nodded in slight understanding.

"We can't do it," she said slowly, "but you want to?" I blushed deep red.

"Yes…" I whispered, admitting it to the first time out loud.

The previously suffocating butterfly finally broke out of its confining cage and flew away into the sky. For the first time… it felt free.

_~unmei no itazura wo shinji te miru_ _~ (2)_

She led me slowly backwards and onto the soft sheets of her bed. The softness of her body and the gentle way she treated me was nothing like I'd expected an experience like this to be.

I'd always imagined when it did happen to me that it would be with a man. Yet her caresses on my cheek and soft kisses seemed, in a way, too powerful to say no to. Her hands sensually ran down my sides and, even as I leaned back and moaned into her mouth, I knew that I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Miku..." Luka panted, even her lust-filled eyes seeming to caress me. She leaned down and kissed me, moving her kisses downward over my breasts, unhooking my bra and slipping it off, revealing more of my pale skin as she did.

I moved my arms up, needingly wrapping around her and unhooking her bra as well. She quickly threw it off into an unknown direction, diving back down to hungrily bite and suck my skin in a way that made me writhe and blush.

I groaned and let myself get lost in the moment as she slid her hands over me and inside me.

In that instant I felt like I was a different person. I was no longer Hatsune Miku: the number one idol on Nico Nico. In those cherished moments I spent with her I was just Miku: Luka's number one.

_~daki yosete ~ yuganda karada_ _~ (3)_

I sang of romance and of death. I'd sung the song so many times by now that it felt like I lived inside its words. I filled each note with my own sorrow, pained that the person singing along with me was not the one I wanted.

Kaito smiled sweetly at me, hands cupping my face lightly, only as our Master had instructed him to do. I felt guilty that I couldn't give Master what he wanted. I couldn't love Kaito. Even programs cannot control who they fall in love with.

No amount of deprogramming could get rid of these feelings I have for Luka.

As the song ended Kaito and I pulled apart. Master leaned back and grinned, admiring his work.

"I think we've just about got it right," he said approvingly. "I think this one will make it to the top on Nico Nico Douga for sure. We'll show those Kagamine brats what it's like to mess with Hatsune Miku!" He pumped his fist in the air excitedly, mumbling to himself bitterly. "'Green is the enemy', my ass. From where I'm standing it's yellow that's the enemy!"

"I can't wait," I said, smiling half-heartedly. He smiled and plopped back down in his chair.

"Hmm..." Master sat in his chair, musing. "The song needs _something_... something that'll make the fans go wild! Hmm… how about a kiss?" I jumped at that.

"W-what?" I stammered, looking up at Kaito who didn't seem to be excited about it either.

Master nodded to himself, having already decided. "Yeah! I think the song should end with you and Kaito kissing... over Luka's dead body!" He grinned and looked back and forth between us. "Sound good? The fans always love crazy shit like that!"

Kaito and I exchanged glances before saying in unison, "yes, Master." We didn't dare say anything else.

I felt helpless. I could not disobey my master. But I wanted to.

 _~"mondai nai_ " _to tsubuyai te ~ kotoba wa ushina wareta?~ (4)_

When I walked into Luka's room she looked up at me and smiled widely. Her smile sent a wave of emotion through me, a rush to my groin and a jump to my heart. She only ever smiled like that for me.

"Hey Miku," she said happily as I sat down next to her, taking my hand and intertwining our fingers. "How's the song going?"

I paused. "Master... wants Kaito and I to kiss 'over your dead body'..."

Luka frowned but leaned over to kiss my cheek anyway. "You have to remember that it's just a song. It's not real." I trembled, leaning into her warm embrace and burying my face into her neck, taking in her sweet and intoxicating smell.

I sighed. "It's just... not me. I'm tired of these songs he makes me sing. I can't relate to them at all."

Luka nodded, running her hand through my hair. "Master asks too much of you, I think. It seems like every song he makes involves you. He hardly ever uses the rest of us Vocaloids anymore."

"Sometimes he likes to have you sing with Gakupo," I reminded her, feeling a little spark of envy. She grinned as she caught the look on my face.

"Jealous?" she asked, raising her eyebrow. I flushed, pouting a little.

"Of course not," I lied, snuggling my face closer to her so she couldn't see my embarrassment.

"Good because you know you shouldn't be. We just sing together. You know that you're the only one that I love, right?" I pulled back to look at her, eyes widening.

"Love?" My heart raced.

She smiled and I thought her beautiful. "Yes. I _love_ you, Miku."

The butterfly flapped its wings faster, soaring through the blue sky towards another butterfly like itself. No longer caged and no longer alone, the butterflies flew together in bliss.

_~watashi no chō fukisoku ni tobi mawari~ (5)_

"I… I wish he'd let _us_ sing a romantic song together..." Luka suggested one day. I laughed humorlessly.

"A song about us?" I scoffed. "Forget it. If he even found out about us... he might... he might..." She nodded, knowing the word I couldn't bear to say:

 **「** U n i n s t a l l

Fear brought tears to my eyes but she quickly kissed them away. I smiled a little at her, forcing my mind away from thoughts of the recycle bin. "Don't worry," she whispered. "Master loves you. I'm sure he'll understand if he ever finds out."

I held on to her tightly, wanting desperately to believe her words.

_~boku wa… sukoshi dakewarui ko ni… natte shimatta you desu~ (6)_

Master sat on the couch writing furiously. He was a good song-writer, but for the past couple weeks he'd been losing out to the Kagamines. Of course I always top the charts but the top songs were from another me, another Master.

"Damn those road rolling twins!" Master yelled, crumpling up the piece of paper that he was writing on and throwing it towards the trash bin in a fury, missing by a long shot and only making himself more furious. "How can the World's Number One Princess lose to the _Daughter of Evil_?" He seethed and continued scribbling out song ideas.

I made a face and shook my head. Kaito seemed to share my thoughts and chuckled at me. "You don't think the Kagamines are _that_ bad, do you?" he asked me in a quiet voice. I shrugged.

"I don't mind Len. He seems like a smart kid. It's his sister, Rin, I tend to have a problem with. I can get along with her sometimes but… most of the time I just see a lot of her songs as creepy. I still can't get images of her cutting off hands and putting them in flower pots out of my head." Kaito laughed at my horrified face.

"Yeah I suppose you might see Rin that way. I thought of her that way at first too but once you get to know her she can really be quite nice. Although she may get bossy from time to time she's really nothing like her songs imply," he explained.

"You know her that well?" I asked, surprised. I glanced at Master, making sure he couldn't hear our conversation.

"Well…" Kaito said with a little grin on his face that I didn't quite understand, "I've actually become quite good friends with Len lately and, well… you know, she comes as part of the package."

I nodded. "Yeah I get it. I didn't know that you and Len were friends… is that why you've been going to that castle lately?" Kaito cleared his throat, embarrassed. I could tell just from his face that it was something that he really didn't want to talk about with Master in the room. "Be careful or Master will find out, you know?" I told him. He nodded back grimly.

"Trust me, I know. And… the same thing goes for you and Luka, alright?" He said lowly. I froze.

"You… what?" Before I could properly open my mouth and ask him what he meant by that, Master stood up and laughed.

"Ohhh, my ideas are _too_ brilliant," he cackled. "Alright, ready to start practicing the song?"

We both nodded, not daring to carry our previous conversation any further. I stole a glance at Kaito.

It seems like Kaito has his own secrets from our Master. He even knew about Luka and I and yet he didn't seem bothered by it. In fact, he told me to be careful and to not get caught. I smiled and held back my tears of happiness as I distracted myself with singing, my mind racing with just one thought:

Someone else understands how I feel.

Kaito really wasn't a bad guy after all. It's just that Master wanted us to be together and I knew I couldn't do that. I like him but I don't love him. And he doesn't love me.

I've thought of what it would be like if I just lived a lie and starting trying to like Kaito. I wouldn't have to fear being caught. I wouldn't need to worry about Master uninstalling Luka because of me.

It would please Master if I liked Kaito. He would praise me. I would continue to be Nico Nico's diva. My popularity would continue to soar.

But I wouldn't be happy.

That dream is not mine. It's what Master wants for me.

I couldn't bear to think of a future without Luka in my arms. I can never go back to being the obedient child that I used to be.

Loving Luka has remade me into someone else. Only when I really think about it do I realize that this new me is finally someone I actually like.

_~au koto ga yurusarenai nara kono mama ato katamonaku dachite shimaitai~ (7)_

I stared out the window, watching the morning colors of dawn sleeplessly. The final performance of the song was approaching. Even though I kept on telling myself it's just a song the questions still rang through my head:

Kaito or Luka? Normal or Happy?

In the end I didn't have to ask myself such questions because I knew the answer already. I knew there was no way that I could tear myself away from this.

I looked over to Luka, brushing my hand over hers. I felt tears brimming in my eyes. "What's wrong with us?" I sobbed.

"There's _nothing_ wrong with us," she said, squeezing my hand. "It's the world that has the problem, not us." She sounded so brave and sure of herself. I clung to her warmth, brushing my lips over hers.

I felt her shaking. She had sounded brave but… she was crying too.

The sun spilled over the horizon and lit up the room more and more as day approached. As we touched each other, small lazy caresses to bruising grips and fingernails, the daylight exposed us as if assuring us that we were meant to be in the light.

Even though we know that one day Master will find out, we won't let it scare us into stopping. Even if we get separated we know that we'll find each other again someday.

"Luka," I whispered. She looked at me with a small smile, running her hands through my hair.

"What is it, love?" she asked quietly.

"If Master ever did write a song about us… what would it be called?" I wondered. She chuckled.

"That's easy," she said. "It would be called Magnet."

**Author's Note:**

> Here are the English meanings of the quotes I used as well as the song they're from (I tried to use as many Luka/Miku songs as I could but mostly I just found songs that the lyrics fit the moment and may give you better insight into their feelings):
> 
> Let's begin. This is war. (Love is War – Miku Version)
> 
> I believe its fate's practical joke on me. (World's End Dancehall – Miku and Luka Version)
> 
> Snuggle me. I have a black hole in my body. (Butterfly On Your Right Shoulder – Len Version)
> 
> "No problem" was murmured, but these words were lost. (Rolling Girl – Miku Version)
> 
> My butterfly flitting around chaotically. (Magnet – Miku and Luka Version)
> 
> I've become… somewhat of a… bad child it seems. (The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku – Miku Version)
> 
> If our meeting can't be forgiven. Then I want to be degenerated until there's nothing left. (Fate: Rebirth – Kaito, Len, and Gakupo Version)
> 
> In order of appearance, there were references and quotes from: Love is War, One More Kiss, World's End Dancehall, Ladies First, Butterfly on my Right Shoulder, the Okay Green is Enemy reference in Gekokujou (LOL a reference in a reference ;D), Rolling Girl, small reference to Google re kasu if you squint, Uninstall, The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku, World is Mine, the Daughter of Evil series, Fear Garden, small reference to Shota Desuyon if you squint, small reference to the Synchronicity series if you squint, Fate: Rebirth, and of course: Magnet.


End file.
